Not Alone
by clair beaubien
Summary: Sort of pre-movie, and sort of not. In the beginning of DoS, there is the flashback of Gandalf meeting Thorin when he's out looking for his father. This story is my idea of what happened when Thorin went home again after not finding Thrain.


A/N: sort of pre-movie, and sort of not. In the beginning of DoS, there is the flashback of Gandalf meeting Thorin when he's out looking for his father. This story is my idea of what happened when Thorin went home again after not finding Thrain.

* * *

Thorin finally reached his own doorstep long after moon rise. He was footsore and weary and wanted nothing more than to sit in his chair and warm himself before the hearth after another fruitless, frustrating search for his father.

The windows were dark and the house was quiet as he approached, but inside he found a fire lit in the hearth and two familiar forms sitting next to it, one nodding asleep in his chair, one still awake, smoking an ornate pipe.

"You're up late," Thorin said to Fili as he set his pack on the floor and hung his cloak on its hook next to the door. "Too late."

Fili shrugged. "I slept in this morning," he said. Thorin knew he wasn't being truthful.

"Hmm…and your brother?"

"Well…" Fili turned an affectionate smile toward Kili. "He'll sleep in late tomorrow. Sit, uncle. You must be hungry. There's food for you."

Thorin sat in his chair before the fire. On a small table beside him there was a stout mug and a plate of bread, cheese, and sliced apple.

"You were expecting me?"

"I heard that you had crossed the border this morning. I knew you'd continue to home, even if it took all night."

Thorin nodded and took a sip from his mug. "Brandywine?"

Fili shrugged again and closely considered his pipe. "I heard you were returning alone. I thought you might need something stronger than tea."

"Does your mother know I return alone?"

"Yes, I think she didn't expect any other ending. She didn't know to expect you tonight, though."

Thorin ate and drank in silence for a few minutes. The heat from the fire drove the chill from him and when he felt refreshed he asked, "How fared things in my absence?"

"Well. Well enough. We delivered the swords to Master Schyler. He was pleased with them." Fili took a moment and some thought before adding, "I'm sorry you were disappointed in your search."

Thorin thought of a dozen ways to answer that but settled on, "Thank you." He stared into the flames on the hearth and allowed himself a rare moment of picturing all the ways things might have been different if not for the greed of dragons and perfidy of elves. "I wish he were here. I wish they were all here, Thror and Thrain and Freirin and your father. I wish we would all be together when we look upon the halls of our fathers again."

That made Fili sit up straighter in his chair. "Are we going to Erebor?"

"It is time to reclaim what is ours."

"When do we leave?" Fili asked, sounding as though he was packed and ready to go that minute. Thorin smiled at his enthusiasm and winced at his youth.

"I need to meet with the other families first. I need to gather as many dwarves as I can if I'm to confront the dragon. But we'll go soon. We've lingered too long in the world of men. Little by little our ways and customs are lost to memory, and soon will be lost even from there. I fear for our children if we remain much longer."

"One child in particular?" Fili asked, nodding to Kili still asleep in his chair. Thorin raised an eyebrow.

" _Two_ in particular."

Fili smiled and didn't object. He said, "Kili and I will go with you; you need but say the word."

At the sound of his name, Kili stirred in his chair. He blinked awake and looked around and grinned when he saw Thorin.

"You're back! We waited up for you."

"I see that," Thorin answered with some amusement at Kili's interpretation of 'waiting up'. "I'm home now and you should be in bed."

"But we're not tired," Kili said even as he rubbed his eyes.

"Does it ever matter whether you're tired when I tell you it's time for bed?"

"Well, no, but - " Kili looked to Fili who said, "We don't think it's a night for you to be alone."

Thorin tried to smile at them but the attempt was brief. "Do you remember your father?" He asked and Fili and Kili looked surprised at the question, as well they might. Thorin rarely spoke to them of their father.

"I - no - I don't remember at all," Kili said and Thorin immediately regretted his question.

"No, you were a baby. You wouldn't remember."

"I don't remember much, either," Fili said. "I remember talking with him, walking with him into town. I remember thinking how brave he was and always feeling safe with him."

"Yes." Thorin nodded. "He was brave. Very brave and very strong. He would be proud of the both of you."

Fili smiled but Kili had become crestfallen at talk of the father he would not meet in this lifetime.

" _I_ am proud of you," Thorin said. "I am very proud of both of you. So I always have been, so I always shall be." Kili's expression lifted and he smiled, if shyly, at Thorin. Fili smiled at him as well, in pride and, Thorin knew, in gratitude for raising Kili's spirits.

"Will you tell us the stories of the mountain? Tell us of Erebor?" Fili asked, and Kili nodded his agreement.

"I have told you those stories many times," Thorin said. "You must know them by heart, now."

"Aye, we know the _stories,_ " Fili said. "But you know the _mountain_."

Thorin looked at them. His sister-sons. His heirs. When they retook Erebor, his family would not be returning just to live in but to rule the mountain. These stories that he had told them all their lives were not just their history, they were their destiny.

He nodded, "As you wish." He set his mug aside and Fili and Kili leaned forward in anticipation. " _Ruled by Thror, mightiest of the dwarf lords, King Under the Mountain, Erebor was the greatest kingdom in Middle-eart. A stronghold built deep within the mountain itself, the beauty of the fortress city was legend."_

As Fili and Kili listened, engrossed, and the fire burned to embers, Thorin told them the stories of gold and gems hewn from the mountains and the skill of dwarves that turned that treasure into the most finely detailed, beautiful, valuable objects any kingdom had ever seen. He told them of Thror's majesty and Thrain's dignity and the magnificence of the Arkenstone.

But he stopped there. He'd told them before, often, of dragon-fire and devastation, but tonight was not a time to recall what had been lost; rather it was a time to be glad of what remained.

"Now, to bed. Both of you. Morning will come sooner than we like and your mother would have my beard if she knew how late you'd stayed with me."

"It's not that late," Kili said. He turned to his brother, expecting no doubt to find agreement, but Fili nodded toward the bedroom hallway and Kili sighed.

"All right," he said. He stood and stretched and shuffled toward his room.

Fili stood but didn't move off. "I meant what I said. It's not a night for you to be alone."

"I know that to you, 'alone' means more than arm's length from your brother," Thorin said fondly. "But there is an age when, though you stand in a room empty of all things, you know you are not alone."

"And I'm already of an age when I know how alone you can be though surrounded by a company of dwarves," Fili said. Thorin smiled and shook his head.

"I am not alone."

"All right," Fili said at length. "Good night, Uncle. I'm glad you're home."

He had only passed Thorin's chair on the way to his room when Kili reappeared. He came to stand behind Thorin. He gripped the shoulders of Thorin's tunic in his hands and touched his forehead to the top of Thorin's head. "Good night, Uncle," he said, then his grip tightened even more. "I don't remember Father, but I've always felt safe with you."

Then he was gone again to his room and Fili followed after him.

Thorin turned back to the hearth. "I am not alone," he said

The End.


End file.
